Monday, February 18, 2008

Day 17

This is my Train of Coherent and Organized Thought wearing Sam Fisher's spy goggles.

Line of the Week: Most people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. - The Truth! (Shown to me by That Deaf Kid)

My mom's grandmother died, so 96% of my family went to Mexico for the funeral/burial with me excluded (I'm always the remaining 4%) since I had class today and had homework to do, which I didn't do as you'll soon find out.

I wanted to go to Wal-Mart Saturday Night to buy some chocolate chip cookies at around 11pm...but I decided against it so that I didn't appear as the blazed kid who can't plan ahead. I prefer to be seen as the blazed kid who is responsible.

Something I noticed on the Indiana Jones trailer was that after you see him knock two fools out of a truck he literally fell into, you see him 'whip' himself into the ceiling as the truck he was in collides head-on into another truck coming straight for him, causing an explosion. The question I ask is this: Why, if you know that there is only space for one of those huge trucks, would you drive one towards another one? I mean, to what end? Planning a suicide mission? Plot hole? Maybe they just felt it was necessary to put an explosion in the movie and hope no one would ask questions.

Hasbro has officially released the photos for the Cloverfield monster action figure. It's over a foot tall, comes with two interchangeable heads, two of the parasites and costs One-Hundred-fucking-dollars! I guess it's worth is when you see the amazing detail put into it and, before I forget, the screaming sound it makes when you shove three AAA batteries up its ass. Abrams is really milking this thing. Here are a few more pictures in case you really like dolls that can double as an uncomfortable sex-toy for four gay guys.

I saw Jumper on Friday. Yeah, it was a decent movie, people were complaining about the's Hayden Christenson, he's the Generation X's Keanu Reeves. The movie was good regardless of how you look at it. The characters were kind of fucking stupid and apparently don't live in a world with guns, but whatever, I guess Tasers that look like walking canes for midgets are cool too. The teleportation is simply badass, good visuals, and the fighting looked really fucking incredible. If you want to see some crazy fighting between two Jumpers, check this movie out, if you're looking for an Oscar nominee or something with depth, then stop watching fucking action movies you idiot. I don't get why people always complain about action movies. You know what an action movie is? A movie where a shit load of people get their asses beat by another group of people, or just one person. That's it, the plot doesn't matter unless it's deals with time travel or alternate universes, which Jumper does not, so leave the movies alone and go watch Titanic if you want character development.

Aside from watching the second season of 30 Rock Saturday afternoon (Calm the fuck down, it's only like six episodes because of the WGA Strike), this weekend was a Tarantino weekend. I watched Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill (Both) and checked out his new projects in between my masturbation minutes. While on this subject, I'm really thinking that Quentin Tarantino needs to create the film adaptations of No More Heroes or Killer7. After watching Kill Bill V.1 again, I noticed that in the scene with the Crazy 88s, Uma Thurman decapitates and vertically slices some guys within ten seconds of each other, which is what you do in No More Heroes; plus the dialogue used in both are almost identical and have a great quirky comedic twang. I would love to see Tarantino cast some badass as Travis Touchdown and some crazy blond French hottie as Sylvia Crystal. The plot would be a typical action movie, he trains with Thunder Ryu, gets the Mach-II Beam Katana, beats a bunch of crazy fools, then gets the Mach-III Beam Katana in time to kill Bat Girl and shit. Add the trademark blood and a couple moments where the Fourth Wall is broken and you've got yourself a better action movie than the last Rambo.

Now it's 1:18 Monday morning and I've read one chapter for Philosophy but haven't done the journal. At this point it could be because of apathy, lack of mental stimulation in the past two days (My brain hasn't gotten an erection for over 72 hours), or because I just don't feel like explaining why I would break the law if it meant I wouldn't get caught. Of course I would, as long as I'm not causing direct physical paint to someone, I don't care. If I could steal and get away with it, I'd be the JC Ward of Invisible People Who Steal Books from Barnes and Nobles Because They Can Society. I hate money to begin with, more specifically the Federal Reserve, so stealing wouldn't effect me at all, just a easier way to sneak into rich peoples' apartments, excuse me, lofts, and throw their $3000 mirrors out the window.

To sum this up:
  • Home Alone = Too much TV
  • Abrams is a greedy Jew bastard
  • Tarantino + Suda51 = Deliciousness
  • Robin Hood is a badass
  • Consumerism fucking sucks

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yeah. Consumerism Sucks way hard. I might steal, but I'm too worried about getting caught and the guilt trip of "You're stealing from all the people that worked to make that product" thing.