Monday, January 7, 2008

Day 7

It's true, Hitler was a fan of MC Hammer...look it up on Wikipedia if you have to.

I haven't really done anything productive since my last entry, and it feels great; a similar feeling to when you grope a drunken college girl...there's no way to explain it, it just feels right. You know? Of course you do.

Anyways, as of today, I'm pretty sure everyone has left for their respective colleges...this means I have to be optimistic next week and hope the people in my classes aren't the failures I've seen around campus (I was lucky during summer school...very lucky).

Friday I did some errands and drove to the bank for my dad, the weather was typical Houston weather; it was too hot to put the windows down, and too cold to turn the a/c on. I can't wait until my ticket gets here and I hit the road outta this joint; just me and my moll on a one-way trip to New York City, where black people are funnier than they are violent (Unlike Houston). Until then, I'll have to settle for the best state in the world: Texas.

I also saw Jenna Bush on The Ellen Degeneres Show, she was promoting her book related to some little girl she met during her work at UNICEF. If you're like me, you've never seen her or her sister on TV before, so you don't know what she looks like, and if you're even more like me, you're not going to go through the trouble of goolging her; so I'll just tell you what she looks like. Imagine George Bush and Laura Bush having a baby; that's what she looks like. Throw in a typical East Coast Business Major fiancé and a smile that is practically identical to Rachael Ray, and you have Jenna Bush. Nothing special, but I'd stick it in her butt.

Later that night I finally saw Shoot 'Em Up on DVD. I must say, that movie was everything I expected and more. Easily one of the best action flicks of 2007. The whole movie is essentially a really long gunfight between Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti with only a few minutes of dialogue thrown in between so people can't say there wasn't a plot (Even though it's only there to create more shootouts). The action sequences are ridiculously creative and are so absurdly hilarious, at many times you'll actually do a double-take of the DVD cover and see if this movie wasn't directed by Quentin Tarantino or Robert Rodriguez; it's just that awesome. 8.5/10

The next day I got out of bed and began taking down the Christmas tree until I left for Sean's house to go watch the Rockets' game with him and a couple of his friends. After taking doing a circle around the parking structure and Sean proving to us that a pickup is too much for him to handle by scraping the side of it into a concrete barrier, we walked what seemed like half-a-mile to our seats which were in a DAMN good spot. However, these seats were still not up to our standards, so we went down like 10 rows until about half-time when the seats' rightful owners arrived; which is where we went down another row. Then, about ten minutes later, the owner of those seats came and kicked us out...with only twenty minutes left in the game...fucking idiots. By the time we were done moving seats, we were practically on the floor level; and upon noticing that the Rockets were up twenty points at the end of the third quarter, we bounced back to Sean's house. Not after making a few wrong turns along the way, of course.

One thing I noticed while walking to our seats was the amount of women who deem it necessary to wear a dress to a basketball game. They all looked like they were going to a nightclub or something. I found it kind of weird, I mean; I'm here not wearing any underwear and they look like they're ready for their post-homecoming-dance fingering.

I was surfing this really cool website the next morning, Phonezoo, where they have a bunch of different phone wallpapers, ringtones, and whatnot; and I saw that they also had jokes. One particular joke I found is actually a variation of a racist joke I made up during my freshman year of high school. In my version, there's only a black and a mexican, however, in this version, the guy who uploaded it start it off like this: "A spic, a chink and a black person...etc." and I couldn't help but laugh to myself. You see, this guy apparently doesn't mind calling the largest race in the world, chinks, or the fastest growing, spics...but his ever-so-solid morals had to draw the line at saying nigger...hahaha.

After hearing the joke, annoyed by his hypocrisy and epic disappointment in the delivery of the punchline, I reported him two times:
  1. For uploading offensive material on Phonezoo, haha.
  2. Failure to deliver punchline in the correct manner, thus ruining the joke for all Phonezoo users.

After serving my plate of justice, I went to my cousin's house to teach him how to install iTunes and put music on his brand new iPod Nano. While iTunes installed, we all sat down and watched We Are Marshall. I'm normally bored by most football movies, save Remember the Titans as it is a requirement to graduate from any high school in Texas, but this one really got to me. Great movie overall, and what I liked about it, is that instead of focusing on the individual players and some dull storyline like Invincible, it focuses on the team as a whole and shows some awesome game play. 8/10

On my way home, I had to do a U-turn under I-10 at Park Ten and all I can say is "wow". It is the nicest bridge I have ever seen. The bottom is so clean and spacious, if I were houseless, I would totally live under that bridge and brag about it to everyone a Leftover Parties and other Hobo Social Events.

I must now depart to watch some Conan O'Brien, I leave you with wisdom to amaze your friends and teachers, and one of the most amazing videos I have ever seen:
How come, if there are rhetorical questions, there aren't any rhetorical answers?

Un-fucking-believable. Via Core77.

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