Line of the week: No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card. -Joan Rivers on women's education.
Link heavy entry, so watch out for the blue stuff I normally try to avoid.
Dan and I saw Cloverfield Friday afternoon, and it was badass. The monster looked fucking awesome (Here's a drawing from DeviantArt for your desktop) and it not only wreaked some major havoc on the innocent little city of NYC, but also seemed to be invincible as it took every damn thing the army shot at it, which was almost every single thing in their arsenal short of destroying the island with a nuke, which would have been a stupid move.
** Watch out for spoilers ahead.**
The monster doesn't die at the end, as you can hear "It's still alive" at the end of the credits (Yeah, I waited until the end). Hud's lines were absolutely hilarious, from the flaming homeless people in the subway to asking Marlena how she knew who Superman was; the guy had the whole theater laughing with every line. I can also completely relate to his character, up until the being eaten part. Although I have to admit, it's definitely better than having your stomach area explode like Marlena, so props him for avoiding that. Abrams and Reeves set out to make a monster that will be America's "Godzilla", and they damn sure succeeded. My only problem with it, aside from like two parts where the camera has a seizure that's still not as bad as the fight sequence from The Bourne Ultimatum, is that it can only be adopted by America as "our monster" if you give the monster a fucking name!! <--Two = I mean business. If you've already seen the movie and want to relive the funny parts again, here's an abridged version of it I came across on DeviantArt. Click Here.
I watched the intro to CSI: Miami a couple times this weekend; terrible show, but I watch the beginning solely to hear David Caruso's seemingly robotic one liners just before The Who scream in.
I found this video, sometime last year, of Zach Galifanakis and Maria Bamford creating a parody of the infamous scene in When Harry met Sally where Meg Ryan's character fakes an orgasm, and every time I just think about it, I start laughing. I'll embed this one:
My diet on Monday, if you can call it that, consisted of Cookie Cake followed by Coke and then Cashews; I can feel my body performing a seppuku in the near future...
Shaggy was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Monday night and despite living in America for over ten years now, only 2% of the American population can actually decipher the words that come out of his mouth. The greatest part was that the captions didn't consist of complete words either; definitely not an Oxford graduate.
I'd like to take a moment (Just sit right there) to raise some awareness about Male Rape. If you've ever seen pictures of you with alcohol in one hand and an ugly tire-smuggling female on the other...you've been raped or taken advantage of in some way, I promise you. Obviously there's also the male-male rape scenario where a gay guy rapes a straight one, but the thought of a ridiculously aggressive queer with a bottle full of GhB is really unsettling. Male Rape Awareness +2.
I can't believe Carson Daly has a talk show, what I really want to know is who he had to beat that position for. i would honestly love to see the list of other repulsive rejects he beat out of the race for a talk show...that airs at 1am...has guests like the cast of The Hills...and was nominated, but didn't win, for the Teen Choice Award for "Choice TV Show - Late Night"...that's it. That's the whole joke, his failure as a person and dull mediocrity as a host is literally a punchline in itself. It just amazes me that shows like his, and networks like MTV continue to thrive on the idiocies of your society, when damn good networks are torn down.
Heath Ledger died yesterday, and as sucky as that is, as he's going to be the best fucking Joker ever, he overdosed on drugs, so I feel no pity or sorrow. Also, I hate and really getting annoyed with all the bulletins people have apparently been making on MySpace about him; or the groups on Facebook that are titled "R.I.P Heath Ledger". Statistics show that if you're in one of those communities, there's a 100% chance you're a hypocritical worthless excuse for a human being, or the equivalent, a kid with Downs Syndrome. No, really, you're all fucking hypocrites. Why you ask? I'll tell you why, person who asked the perfect question at the perfect time, because you only show support for him and say how great you think he was after he's fucking dead. Here's a couple other examples of the stupid shit you "people" do and love to gloat about:
- Award inspiring and revolutionary actors and comedians with some lifetime achievement award after they die (posthumously) like Lenny Bruce or Bill Hicks. Why don't you just dig up their corpses and skull fuck them? I'm pretty sure they'd appreciate it much more.
- Feel as if you've done good, like the pathetic celebrities that throw hundreds of thousands of dollars to research some illness, only after they've been diagnosed with it. Similar to those who fund Cancer research while they're in the doctor's room...yeah, I'm talking to you Lance Armstrong, you hypocritical prick.
On a happier note.
I got No More Heroes today!! Jesus Chry-st this game is bloody! Quick info about it, you're an assassin currently ranked #11 in the world's top assassins, and guess what? We want #1. You have a beam katana that's a LOT like a lightsaber, so you can slice shit up, like decapitating your foes and slicing them in half...vertically. Here's an awesome video of it.
This entry brought to you by: The Church of Former-Day Saints.