Day 3

Awesome! Just in case you can't find beer AND wine at any grocery store, liquor store, gas station, restaurant, bar, house, or designer store in the mall.

Apparently the definition of strident is not "The weapon of the Striders in Half-Life 2". Who knew? These past few days have been rather busy, not just for me, but for other people as well (It is the holidays after all).

Lisset had her birthday Thursday, judging by how old she looks in her pictures, I think she turned 12.

On Friday, Nate and his sister left for Thailand, he'd better get the picture of the prostitutes like I asked him or he shouldn't even bother coming back.

After class Friday, I committed the regrettable decision to go with my sister to Willowbrook Mall to get our parents Christmas presents (Using their money, it literally keeps on giving). We got my mom the final season of The King of Queens since she really digs the show and bought my dad those Tempur-Pedic slippers, which upon closer inspection at our house, were two sizes too big. Sigh, maybe he'll grow into them.

Samedi consisted of watching Dirty Jobs all day. It's a pretty badass show as far as documnetary shows go and really makes you appreciate the ways you've earned money, even if it does mean "servicing" 43-year-old Post Office janitors behind a Wendy's. Some of the jobs on the show look fucking horrible and make you want to watch the WE channel just for seeing the process. Just kidding, no one wants to watch WE.

Others actually looked pretty badass and seem like something I wouldn't mind doing for a week or two, at least for the experience and stories.

Afterwards I read Hipstomp (I'm blogging about reading a blog, my rebellious antics never seem to end!) until the reminder on the TV went off and...well...reminded me that my favorite Christmas movie, Jingle All the Way was about to begin (As opposed to telling me that it's about to end).

Why do I love that movie you ask? Well even if you didn't, read on. The basic reasoning is Arnold Schwarzenegger AND Sinbad in a Christmas comedy? How can anyone say no? The only part that bothers me in that movie is the part where Arnold's character calls his kid on a pay phone and his kid not only talks back to him but yells at him that he's irresponsible. That little shit! He doesn't even have any responsibilities and his dad is trying everything he can to get him the only toy he wants for Christmas that he'll forget about in less than two months, and he has the audacity to have an attitude?! If my kid talked back to me like he did to Arnold, I would fly home (not literally, more as in Gandalf telling Frodo "Fly you fools" before his supposed death) as fast as inhumanly possible and beat him until he his tears of fear turned into tears of regret. Teach that shit that half of him came from my dick and if he pisses me off again, I'll relieve him of the life I gave him. Fucking disrespectful, you're not allowed to talk back like that to your parents until after you've had to shave your pubic hair at least three times.

English was HELL today. Maybe it was because I was tired as hell from Sunday's antics that aren't even interesting enough to put in here, but I was fighting my eye lids and losing faster than a blind kid playing Mario.

I was going to grab some Jack In the Box for lunch when I saw that my wallet only had a $100 bill and wondered if they would take it. I figured it was worth a shot since I had a back-up plan. If they wouldn't take it, assuming I get the usual white lady that works the window, I would yell "RACIST!!" until I got my food. Luckily, (for them) it didn't have to come to that. Upon receiveing my food however, she says "Thank You" I reply with "Have a nice day", which is perfect for Christmas Eve. Apparently my mind couldn't spit out "Merry Christmas".

I just got out of the shower and I'm going to go to my aunt's house to play Call of Duty 4 on my uncle's PC until I get stuck and cry all over the keyboard while wallowing in depression or celebrate Christmas, whichever comes first.

Wallowing is a weird verb. Wallowing (v): to wallow

Merry Christmas and try not to die, lest you turn yourself into a Christmas Death statistic. If you're going to drink, drive and die, at least take out a van full of other people too, there's nothing worse than a wasted car crash.

Here's my present, I found it online a while ago:


If you told a Jew to have a deplorable Christmas, what would his reaction be?