Monday, September 29, 2008

Day 49

Mac and Jeep owners get the same response: Grow up, get a real job and get yourself a PC you fucking hipsters...

Line of the Week: Social Darwinism is about how can get it on the most -My history teacher

So I'm going to get a job. What? Yeah, I know, and it's going to be at a movie theater (Studio Movie Grill) so that I can cause system errors and make sure to avoid anyone that voluntarily buys a ticket to Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Fireproof, Monsters Vs. Aliens, An American Carol or Bolt...because anyone who buys a ticket to those movies was already going to call it the "best movie ever" beforehand.

On Friday, immigration in the 1900s was the topic for History class, and when the political cartoons started showing up, racism began to be prevalent, accepted and humorous. Most people couldn't figure out Dutch stereotypes (Wooden shoes, retards) so I had to make those calls and one of my favorite instances was when a large negro fellow behind me saw a four leaf clover and said "One of those lucky plant things", to which I sarcastically replied "One of those lucky plant things? Is that the technical term for it" which finally got the class laughing for the first time this damn semester. Oh, and when a picture of a Chinese rapist was shown I said that it "looks like one of them know, because of the raping..." this only caused laughter in me. I think everyone has pegged me as That Racist Guy.

Here's one thing I don't get: midget's and comedy. Ever since I've been a kid I've found those little things more of an annoyance than the opposite. They're not funny, Mini-Me wasn't funny in Austin Powers or The Love Guru, midget jokes aren't funny and the only kind of miniature talking bipeds I wanna see are Jawas and Smurfs. Now I'm not saying all of them need to get out of any spotlight that I could happen to see, just the ones that didn't play R2D2 or Willow...the rest need to get out of my films and go back to wrestling dogs or whatever it is they do.

I went to an early screening of Choke on Thursday night with Dan and ended up getting a bunch of free posters and coasters. The film was great, I have a review on The Reel Truth and afterwards we went to Buffalo Wild Wings and I was blessed to see a waitress lift up her uniform to scratch her fat roles. Then, three really ghetto black guys sat down at a table next to us and as I watched them silently from the shadows of my table, they began to be a bit rowdy and laughed like most black guys laugh by not actually laughing, but instead just making a sound that could only be described as somewhere between a hack and cackling giggles. This wasn't funny by itself however, the best part was that all three were drinking fruity alcoholic drinks out of margarita glasses. I quickly flipped through the drink menu and found that they were drinking Berry Margaritas...probably while rhymin' bout dem hoes.

Afterwards, I went home and caught up on The Office season premier and the two new It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes. They were great, hilarious and if you're not watching them you're missing out on a part of life that will always be kept in the dark for're basically destroying any chance of happiness you may have at this time.

I was thinking about the myth of the Sandman and how he sprinkles sand on people to make us have dreams, and what I want to know is how he makes us have wet dreams...what kind of sad is that perverted mofo using?

The next day, I watched Eagle Eye and then went to Dan's house for his birthday thing. To make a mildly short story even more mildly short; over 30 Chicken McNuggets went in my mouf and we watched Diary of the Dead, which had a mute Amish man who stabs himself with a joke. When I went home I found my parents and my uncle talking about the abuse of help after hurricanes. My mom started going off saying all sorts of hateful things like "It's terrible, people like us are working for their money while they get a FEMA card and buy alcohol whithout having to do anything fo it" to which I replied, "Yeah, but they're who's really winning here?".

This is the ONLY Spike Lee related video I will ever post, and only because it has Edward Norton with the best Fuck You Speech in all existence:

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