Thursday, September 18, 2008

Day 47

I made this in Photoshop a while ago and you know what? I don't care how nerdy it is, a Rorschach-obsesses Jedi would be the most badass thing since Jack the Ripper.

Line of the Week: Nos vamos a tomar unos tragos coquetos... -Matando Cabos

Some of you may or may not know but there was a pretty weak, albeit enormous, hurricane that beat the shit out of Houston last week. This is the main reason I didn't update sooner, however all is well and I only lost a couple feet of fence...which are still down because we're all too lazy to fix it. I'll delve into my experience of the hurricane at the end of this post.

Let's start off with some a really nerdy and disappointing event from Wednesday that proved to me how you can be a winner and a loser at the same time. Dan and I went to Studio Movie Grill to take advantage of his employees-see-movies-for-free deal to watch Death Race. Upon our arrival, I noticed that the sole hostess/receptionist/chick-who-sells-tickets was having difficulty with a couple of Desi customers. They come to the damn movie theater with a coupon to get a discount but have no idea what film they want to watch, nor have any information on any films being shown in the theater. I barely caught the end of this confusion when I arrived, and the hostess, obviously frustrated and bothered, asks us if we knew anything about Traitor. At this point Dan backs away and I take over and not only explain who stars in the film and give a quick synopsis, but also talk about what other films the actors have been in, what critics have been saying and the general reception of the film. Not only do I do that, they then ask me to recommend them a movie, so I give them the same amount of information for Death Race, Tropic Thunder, The House Bunny and ultimately tell them to watch I said, I was both a winner and a loser at the same time. Now I'm going to apply to work as a host, since I might as well put this knowledge to good use.

We chat with the hostess for a bit and then get tickets to Bangkok Dangerous because I was fucking starving and no one had bought tickets to Death Race.

The next day (Thursday for those keeping count) I went to Taco Cabana with my parents and after I dipped my hands into the ice at the register to wake myself up and made the line laugh with a random sarcastic rant to my parents, we sat down outside and began to eat my bean and cheese nachos, which my ass decided to rape my with later. About five minutes into our meal some lady sitting near us came up to us and asked my mom what she was eating and when my mom said that something else was also good, she said "Oh no, I can't eat, I should be shopping for Ike." These are the last words that I heard before she decided to ramble on and on and on about what she thought about Ike and where her family lived for, and I timed it, 16 minutes. Besides, if you're at the restaurant already, why aren't you eating? It's not like you're going to be shopping while you're at Taco fucking Cabana anyways...dumb bitch. She smelled like death, cigarettes and cold nachos, although the latter may have been caused by my food.

Ike - It happened, and here is my story:
We were fucking prepared, seriously, better prepared than ANYONE else I knew. I had anywhere between 10-12 family members in my house from Friday to Monday and we had enough food to feed everyone at least 3 times a day, if not more. Like Rita however, nothing happened and we only lost power on Saturday from 5am to 3pm. During that time, however, was when the storm as at its worse and the combination of rain and wind was nailing my house harder than a crucifixion. I slept through most of it and only had to deal with a few hours without power, although we had an industrial generator that we turned on so we could watch a movie and play Wii, so to all those that didn't and don't have power...well, I say nothing because it's not like you can even read this damn thing.

I was only awake for maybe an hour or two of the hurricane winds and they were extremely powerful, but knowing how powerful they were made me want to go outside, stake a metal pole into the ground, tie myself to it, hold a digital SLR in one hand and an enormous beer bottle in the other, wearing only boxers and goggles and experience Ike like a man, yelling various lines from action films at the top of my lungs (i.e. Ike to meet you, Yippie-Ikay Motherfucker and Ikecaramba and such). If there wasn't so much debris, I probably would have.

From before the storm, starting on Thursday I believe, the only thing that was on was the news tracking Ike non-stop. This means I didn't get to see Letterman or Conan on either nights and that they were broadcasting this news ceaselessly for over 72 hours, fucking ridiculous. All weekend long we had the TV on and during that time we watched the following films, some of which I was seeing for the third or fourth time:
  • Airplane! - 9/10
  • Matando Cabos - 9.5/10
  • Memento - 8.5/10
  • Blazing Saddles - 8/10
  • Live Free or Die Hard - 7/10
  • Enemy at the Gates - 7.5/10
  • Hot Fuzz - 9/10
  • Young Frankenstein - 10/10
  • The Godfather - 10/10
  • The Godfather Part II - 8.5/10
  • Baby Mama - 8/10
  • Sunshine - 8.5/10
  • Reservoir Dogs - 9/10
Yeah...and you know what? I still can't wait to go to the the movie theater as soon as possible to check out whatever new films are coming out, my love for films is like my love for sesame chicken or cookie's unconditional, save the "movies" from the "directors" of Meet the Spartans and such. The rest of the time I was hanging out with my cousins, walking around outside while the cold front was in and played with my Wii for the first time in months. I played Super Smash Bros. Brawl with my uncle and my cousin and got some trophy for playing 50 hours of brawls which, again, illustrated how one could be a winner and a loser in the same moment.

I was driving around with my dad and uncle on Sunday (Remember this, it's important) and while we were on our way back form my grandma's house, we saw that a Chick-Fil-A was open...on a SUNDAY! (See? Told you) As soon as I saw this, I said one thing and one thing only: "God is gonna be pi-issed..."

Now that it's over, there are actually people in Galveston (Completely pwned) that actually stuck around and were asking for help, hell I as listening to the radio and this lady was complaining about how she didn't have power and most of her property was destroyed, she didn't have water pressure, that she had cancer and blah-fucking-blah. First of all, why'd you go off and get cancer before hurricane season? Didn't think that one through now did you? Secondly, you stayed when people were evacuating a full three days before the hurricane was supposed to even hit, if anything, I'm pissed you lived through it and I had to hear your fucking voice for more than a scream of pain that somehow acknoledged your stupidity. I hope FEMA and your insurance deny you aid and maybe next time you'll learn to not be a fucking idiot...

I finally left my house on Tuesday and went to Dan's house to hang out and after a while, his sister and her friend began talking about random shit jokes and whatnot and I actually found myself explaining to them what happens in 2 Girls 1 Cup. Also, I played Rock Band and rocked out on the vocals since I was the only person with any experience in singing, never got a score lower than 91% and received a 100% Flawless rating on one song and one song only: Blondie - Call Me...yet again, I was both a winner and a loser simultaneously.

Now it's Thursday and I'm finally updating this because I just got internet at around 7pm, while hoping I actually get to leave my house more than once this week. I'll try to get something more interesting to post for next week but I've been kind of busy lately. I'll leave you with the SNL skit featuring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as Sen. Palin and Sen. Clinon, respectively:

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