Thursday, May 22, 2008

Day 34

A nerdy picture for a nerdy entry...

Line of the Week: I hope you realize the world isn't so bad...and then you get raped! -John Gard

This is going to be one of my nerdiest entries ever, so hold on to your 15 gigs of midget porn, Red Bull induced fart infested chair and bag of Cheetos (The puffy kind) because this will probably be mildly awkward. If you don't have a decent broadband internet connection, all the videos and links I'm gonna be throwing in are going to slow your PC down a bit. The content is well worth it though, so without further delay, here we go.

First of all, if I don't finally mention this I'll keep on putting it off like I have for over almost a month. The Playstation 3. It's been out for a while and aside from maybe two games, one of which is GTA IV, there's hardly any reason to buy it yet. Then I found out about LittleBigPlanet, which will be the biggest game for the PS3 with the only other contender being the new Metal Gear Solid. Here are a few clips of the game...simply fucking amazing. I was never planning on getting a PS3, but now I'm seriously considering it:

Oh, and you gotta love the emotions feature:

All excitement aside, I honestly believe that these trailers alone blow GTA IV out of the water. Half Life 2 made everyone excited about Physics engines again and most games have barely used them, if at all, in any new ways. LBP is doing just that and is going to revolutionize Sony's, if not the whole industry's, future physics-enabled gaming expectations.

Another game that's going to revolutionize the way we look at gaming in general is the game that's been delayed, in production and has never existed; all at the same time...within the last 3 years. I'm talking about Spore, the game where you begin as a cell and evolve into a full-grown and incredibly unique creature, eventually creating a small tribe that grows into various cities until you reach a level of space exploration...that's right, you literally create a universe with a planet inhabited by your personally designed species.

Here's a really in-depth video of how it will work...prepare to be amazed:

Moving away from video games, I wanna touch up a little bit on some movies I'm excited about. This one is really special, a friend of mine, Alex, mentioned to me a while ago and that I checked out, but forgot about because it could barely be classified as being in Pre-Production at the time. Well I Googled it recently and was amazed at how far along it was and am now VERY excited for its release. The movie is The Watchmen, which is based off a comic of the same name, and will feature some badass characters that make sense and will be easy to relate to. The casting looks great, from the most famous character, Rorschach, to Silk Spectre, Ozymandias, Nite Owl and my favorite, The Comedian, they all look fucking great.

I'll tell you why The Comedian is my favorite. Aside from being a comedian, which is actually not the reason I like him at all, he's simply the most badass and ruthless character of them all. He's known for having very littly, if any, regard for morality or human life and it is often assumed he fights crime to justify his super-violent sadistic acts against people. He does this while wearing a Smiley Face button on his shirt, probably for his own twisted pleasure and the clincher for me is that he loves much that he rapes Silk Spectre. Who has two thumbs, would be amused by these acts and has a goal to do a 5min. set on rape? This guy! Hahaha...oh man, you gotta love him.

My only disdain on it being a Watchmen movie is that that means The Comedian will probably die in the first part of the movie and be seen in the rest only through flashbacks and whatnot. too bad they didn't do The Minutemen...oh well. Needless to say, I can't wait for the first trailer to be released. Until then, here's the teaser poster:

Another movie I've been really looking forward to is 9. It's a movie based on a short film by Shane Ackner that is one of the best and most detailed animations I've seen in my life. It's just so good by itself that it seems like the movie will be an insult. However, the king of dark animation(albeit with no other competition), Tim Burton, has been set to produce it. I could rabble on for a page on how great the animation and movie is, but you would never get it until you see the actual animation:

I won't go as in-depth into the rest as I did with the previous two, but I feel they deserve honorable mention.
  • Bunraku - A new samurai/western hybrid with dynamic photography from the likes of Sin City and 300 starring Josh Hartnett.
  • Where the Wild Things Are - A remake of the classic book. Has some great voice actors and the monsters look great, Google it for some abstract but mildly detailed pictures.
  • Repossession Mambo - Read the's almost exactly like a joke I wrote in High School. The sad part is that it's somehow going to be a serious movie...
  • Push - Although I'm kinda iffy, and by iffy I mean borderline passionate rage, about a movie with Dakota Fanning, I'm a sucker for telekineses so I'll probably stream it online.
Aside from that, I recently watched Street Kings with Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie and Martha Higareda. Yes, that means they were in the room with me, and let me say, even though Forest is older and mature, he still screamed at the television during the action parts and would always be like "Oh shit, check this part out, it's intense!". Then Hugh would ramble on about Vicodin and Lupus and blah blah blah. Very annoying. I must say though, the film is fantastic, Reeves plays a complete badass and I was actually impressed by his acting. The action scenes were pretty badass too.

Alright, let me end this entry right...with some comedy. I haven't been a big fan of SNL since Tina Fey left, but these clips from the season finale were incredibly hilarious.

SNL Digital Short: Japanese Office - Oh my fucking god...this clip was the best SNL short I've seen in a long time. If you don't watch The Office you're not gonna laugh nearly as hard as everyone else will, but you definitely will enjoy it. My favorite part is Wiig's Japanese schoolgirl laugh.

Charlie Flitt Show - This clip is great not so much for the writing, but simply for the jumping through life-size pictures...which I am going to do from now on. Tomorrow I'm going to go to Kinkos and get 50 life-size pictures printed on cheap paper to replace every door I usually use throughout the day, and some I don't so people can just look at an enormous picture of me all day.

I think
that's about it. I typed this in less than an hour and feel like I can finally stop keeping all those websites open in Firefox tabs. The next entry will be next week and chances are I'll review Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull so watch it or be spoiled...and remember; Rape Hookers, not Babies.

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