Monday, March 31, 2008

Day 25

Gas prices may be rising, but paper's still looking good...

Line of the Week: Malibu Barbie was the Rosa Parks for California women. -Some comedian on I Love the 70s

I was leaving my Macroeconomics class last Wednesday when I noticed something very interesting as I got to my car. A silver Honda, about three cars away from mine was being sold. Now what got me wasn't the car or the great handwriting used to show the availability, it was the fact that the owner of the car wrote this right above the phone number: "Fo' Sale". At first I thought to myself "There's no way I just saw that", so I did a double take, and reaffirmed my fear that someone had in fact, written that.

The best part isn't even that they had sincerely written "Fo' Sale" in hopes of selling their car. No, it was definitely the apostrophe after the 'o' that was so nicely done. It was one of the best apostrophe's I had ever seen in my life; went from thick to thin, had a nice small curve at the end and was so perfectly placed that it would be impossible to mistake it for something else. I really love that someone was so stupid they wrote "Fo' Sale", but made sure they followed the correct grammar rule for it.

I like Amanda Bynes because she's the only female celebrity that hasn't had enough cocks in her to raise her testosterone level to that of a man's.

I had to take my sister to work at the new outlet mall on 290 Saturday morning. Define pathetic: As I dropped her off, I noticed a line that wrapped around a store. Moving to where I could see the store that was so popular for people who love buying name brands at a discount, I realized that the entire line - that consisted of at least fifty people - was for Coach.

Afterwards I went home, showered and got ready for the final comedy class at the Laff Stop. Basically Slim, Rob and Sam sat on stage and talked about the comedy industry as a whole and how to work it and whatnot. Then everyone went on stage and was critiqued on their performance, mine being my posture, pacing and saying 'like' too many times (Damn my generation!). At the end of class, we voted on who would get 20min. on stage and headline the class' showcase on April 20th, the resulting comic being yours truly. I'm going to start selling tickets the second you read this. Here are the rates:
  • 1 for $5
  • 2 for $10
  • 3 for $13 and so on.
  • Buying 6 tickets is unacceptable...get either 5 or 7, but 6 is not allowed.
Saturday night Nate and I went to a...sigh...Karaoke Bar. It was literally the kind of shit you'd find in a really bad Japanese movie; Asian guys and girls playing Tetris on wirelessly connected DS Lites while Korean, Japanese, Chinese, and Thai people sing Spice Up Your Life and Zombie.

Now today I experienced two weird situations in cars. First, I went to Jack in the box for lunch, and there was this guy driving a diesel truck in front of me at the drive-thru. His fucking truck was so loud he had to turn it off just to order. Then, as I was leaving, I saw that he was eating his food in the parking lot next door...hey guy, when it comes to saving gas money; you're doing it wrong. Besides, you get free motherfucking refills if you eat inside.

Then, as I was arriving on campus and saw a guy exiting, and as I turn in, he arrives at the stop sign (Still on campus, mind you) and lights a fucking stupid do you have to be to not be able to wait until you get home to light up? This is why driveways were invented, douchebag.

Also, starting next Monday, every Open Mic will consist of new material so come check that out.

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