Monday, October 27, 2008

Day 53

Maybe abortion is wrong...

Line of the Week: I'm shooting babies, no ifs, ands or maybes -Randy quoting the Notorious B.I.G.

I want to start off by saying that not only is it fucking exciting that Halloween is this Friday, but that if you don't go to a Halloween party dressed up, you're mentally retarded. Like, the mental way. The only people exempt from this are middle schoolers because, well, they're already mentally retarded.

I bought the Casino Royale 3-Disc Collector's Edition on Friday and holy shit, it's badass, there's so much stuff to watch and the only downside was trying to open the damn thing. The package consisted of two plastic wrappers, which is like wearing two condoms; they're annoying and cause much pain afterwards. Then, there was a box to hold the box with the actual discs...yes, a box inside of a motherfucking box. Damn you Sony, you're like the bastards who attached my Power Rangers' Zords to the cardboard using 53 twist ties...

* * * Random Contest!! * * *
I drive a Taurus and while hanging out with Taylor on Friday we came up with the genius idea to write the letters "CLI" before the name on the back of the car. Obviously, we weren't going to do it to my car, but if you do it to another car (No permanent markers, that counts as vandalism) and take a picture, I'll give you a prize of some sort.

The real big news this weekend was the "gig" that Allen and I got on Saturday. It was at College Station, so after sleeping in on Saturday and watching Sin City with director commentary, Allen and Daniel came over and we headed out (But not after hitting up McDonalds for my Chicken McNuggets). When we got to the place, what we thought was going to be a pretty decent sized event, ended up being a group of like 20 Asian nerds, the girls looked like something straight out of F.O.B. Magazine.

Afterwards, we went to the most fucking surreal party I have ever been to. Seriously, there was an Asian guy yelling half the time with the weirdest Martin Lawrence impersonation I (thought) have ever heard. Then there were weird people also yelling, some mute fucking annoying chick that tried to force me to take a Jello shot while I had a beer in my hand...I would've stabbed her but I couldn't move my arm too much or find a knife fast enough, or a place without witnesses...oh, and it's also illegal I think. Then, after spilling over ten Jello shots that caused even more yelling by the Asian guy, she spit a Jello shot at some guy, but because she's fucking stupid and drunk she hit Dan's face, my hair and hoodie and the wall behind us.

We ended up chilling at someone's house and crashing there after watching the original Nightmare on Elm Street. The whole night was pretty funny, mediocre, but funny. Some of the lines that came up through the eventful night though, were absolutely ridiculous:

If we get pulled we can just say "That wasn't a U-Turn, motherfucker, that was CLEARLY two left turns!!"
Me, on making a U-Turn where it there's a No U-Turn sign.

It's so hard picking out a new bible...I wish I had some help
Allen exclaiming loudly in the Christian section of Barnes and Nobles

What the fuck is that? It smells and sounds like Paki Techno Night...
Me, on some random Indian event we passed

Knock knock - Who's there? - Whore - Whore-who? - That act was fucking horrible...
Allen and I tag-teaming a gay Asian-singing-duo

For a restaurant that only makes chicken tenders, you'd think they'd be good...
Me, on Raising Cane's Chicken Tenders (mediocrity at its worse)

...and the highlight of the night: HOWDY fAGS!
Allen "editing" the parking lot sign that read "Howdy Ags!"...way too easy.

I stopped watching Heroes a couple weeks ago and a friend of mine recently reminded me of it so I thought I'd make a couple observations about it. I left it because the Heroes writers went fucking insane with the writing, adding three twists to each episode. The worst one was when we found out that every character was related...seriously. I'm pretty sure that if Angela Petrelli had AIDS from the time that she was a teenager EVERY FUCKING CHARACTER would also have it. the family through sex or birth, Niki Sanders, D.L. Hawkins, Micah Sanders and who knows who else...then we could call the show "Heroes for Rent." Yeah, I know it's an easy joke, but I like it.

Until next week, don't forget about the contest make sure you DO NOT VOTE...seriously, I cannot stress this enough. Ignore what Leonardo DiCaprio, Sarah Silverman and Kyra Sedgewick said, don't wake up early in the next 8 days to vote. It's a terrible idea, you have to wait in line, most of the states are already locked into the same political party they've been with lately and you'll probably have to listen to someone else's opinion about something...and really, who wants that?

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