Amen.Line of the Week: I'm so left-wing I'm Korean -Me...kinda.
Before I begin typing the next paragraph thing I need to mention that I have an announcement.
I have an announcement:
I tried out for a Comedy Night at Lone Star and I got it, it's November 11th at 7pm at Lone Star, room CENT 135. Here's the Facebook Page for more info...oh, and it's free.
So the Presidential debates happened last week or something...so that's cool I guess. I could talk about them but I didn't watch them, instead I decided to watch reruns of House. Why reruns? I can't remember...oh yeah, it was because the debates canceled the new episode of House for the week...assholes. I did manage to catch a minute though, between a set of boring commercials. John McCain said we went into Somalia as peacemakers and all I could think is "...he's obviously never seen Black Hawk Down, because we went into Somalia as badass mofos...and Orlando Bloom died."
Wednesday I went to Jason's Deli with Nicole and Aaron and while we were eating outside a lady pulls up to a handicapped spot and parks in it and walks out of my line of site. Dumbfounded, I say "What the fuck? That lady wasn't even crippled!" Then she walks back into my line of site whilst holding a baby, and I immediately, without thinking, say "Oh...well maybe her baby' is handicapped." Stupid? Yes, but it was hilarious at the time because, technically, aren't all babies handicapped? Besides, strollers are just really comfy wheelchairs. Now every time I see a baby, I imagine them trying to walk with the help of a pair of 6 inch tall crutches.
Afterwards, Aaron goes to work and Nicole and I hit up Barnes and Noble's for a bit, only to find out that they completely changed the layout of the entire store. While I was in the self-help section looking for the philosophy section all I could think is that I needed self-help book on how to navigate through new Barnes and Nobles layouts. After walking around for a bit, I passed the religion section and paused when I noticed a few things.
They have three Christianity Bibly Sections:
I have an announcement:
I tried out for a Comedy Night at Lone Star and I got it, it's November 11th at 7pm at Lone Star, room CENT 135. Here's the Facebook Page for more info...oh, and it's free.
So the Presidential debates happened last week or something...so that's cool I guess. I could talk about them but I didn't watch them, instead I decided to watch reruns of House. Why reruns? I can't remember...oh yeah, it was because the debates canceled the new episode of House for the week...assholes. I did manage to catch a minute though, between a set of boring commercials. John McCain said we went into Somalia as peacemakers and all I could think is "...he's obviously never seen Black Hawk Down, because we went into Somalia as badass mofos...and Orlando Bloom died."
Wednesday I went to Jason's Deli with Nicole and Aaron and while we were eating outside a lady pulls up to a handicapped spot and parks in it and walks out of my line of site. Dumbfounded, I say "What the fuck? That lady wasn't even crippled!" Then she walks back into my line of site whilst holding a baby, and I immediately, without thinking, say "Oh...well maybe her baby' is handicapped." Stupid? Yes, but it was hilarious at the time because, technically, aren't all babies handicapped? Besides, strollers are just really comfy wheelchairs. Now every time I see a baby, I imagine them trying to walk with the help of a pair of 6 inch tall crutches.
Afterwards, Aaron goes to work and Nicole and I hit up Barnes and Noble's for a bit, only to find out that they completely changed the layout of the entire store. While I was in the self-help section looking for the philosophy section all I could think is that I needed self-help book on how to navigate through new Barnes and Nobles layouts. After walking around for a bit, I passed the religion section and paused when I noticed a few things.
They have three Christianity Bibly Sections:
- Travel Bibles for the Christian on-the-go.
- Bible Bibles for the Stationary Christian.
- Study Bibles for the Uneducated Christian that can't read comprehensively.
They also have a Manga Bible, where Jesus is a Ninja...there's part where the image shows Jesus giving/throwing a bunch of stuff at someone and the line, that's obviously straight from the real Bible, is "...and he let it rip!" Don't believe I actually saw it? Click here for a credible documentation of this event.
The next day, before my Sociology class, that ended up being canceled, I had this interesting conversation with this chick from the class. I wish I could make this up but it's true and definitely beating the time I convinced a friend I was Jewish, or convincing a friend at Texas Tech that midgets weren't real (She's a communications major so it doesn't technically count).
Anyways, she was like 17 or something anddefinitely looked like the type that believed Jurassic Park was based on a true story. We were talking about cars and whatnot and I told her that the carborator breaks down the carbs in gasoline. She initially refused to believe this but then I laid told her that that's why it was called a carb-orator, and that the transmission breaks down the Trans Fat in gasoline. She started laughing like it might be silly but I decided to press on. The next line I fed her I was particularly proud of: "Yeah, you know how ethanol is made purely from corn? Well corn, and the oil used in gasoline, also comes from the ground, which is littered with carbohydrates and trans fat and it creates the energy for our cars." She believed it for about 30 seconds when she began to ask her friend about it and between the ensuing spurts of laughter I told her I was joking.
Do you like porn, but not the sex? Me too. Do you like Nathan Fillion and Aria Giovanni and want to watch them not have sex? Me too! You should check out PG Porn, courtesy of Chud!
In my history class today, we talked about Imperialism and Nationalism, neither of which are interesting, but my responses to my professor's questions caused laughter from him and the students:
Question: What had American's invested in that made them want to annex Hawaii?
My Answer: T-Shirts with flowers on them?
Question: What nationwide common bond makes us all Americans?
My Answer: Miley Cyrus.
I'll leave you with this because it reminds me of myself when I was younger...
The next day, before my Sociology class, that ended up being canceled, I had this interesting conversation with this chick from the class. I wish I could make this up but it's true and definitely beating the time I convinced a friend I was Jewish, or convincing a friend at Texas Tech that midgets weren't real (She's a communications major so it doesn't technically count).
Anyways, she was like 17 or something anddefinitely looked like the type that believed Jurassic Park was based on a true story. We were talking about cars and whatnot and I told her that the carborator breaks down the carbs in gasoline. She initially refused to believe this but then I laid told her that that's why it was called a carb-orator, and that the transmission breaks down the Trans Fat in gasoline. She started laughing like it might be silly but I decided to press on. The next line I fed her I was particularly proud of: "Yeah, you know how ethanol is made purely from corn? Well corn, and the oil used in gasoline, also comes from the ground, which is littered with carbohydrates and trans fat and it creates the energy for our cars." She believed it for about 30 seconds when she began to ask her friend about it and between the ensuing spurts of laughter I told her I was joking.
Do you like porn, but not the sex? Me too. Do you like Nathan Fillion and Aria Giovanni and want to watch them not have sex? Me too! You should check out PG Porn, courtesy of Chud!
In my history class today, we talked about Imperialism and Nationalism, neither of which are interesting, but my responses to my professor's questions caused laughter from him and the students:
Question: What had American's invested in that made them want to annex Hawaii?
My Answer: T-Shirts with flowers on them?
Question: What nationwide common bond makes us all Americans?
My Answer: Miley Cyrus.
I'll leave you with this because it reminds me of myself when I was younger...
Wait, scratch that, I was trying to decide what video to leave you with, but then I remembered this is my website and I can post whateva I wantz, so I'll actually be leaving you with another Jake and Amir video:
DID YOU KNOW...that I have three politic-related items in this entry? Because I totally does.
2 comments:
politic-related... to the intelligent world, that means political.
Yeah, because "whateva I wantz" and "totally does" are also perfectly acceptable...
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