Thursday, February 11, 2010

Day 76

Yes, actually, this IS a picture of Courtney Love getting her right tit sucked by black man at a party and/or shopping spree.

Line of the Week: The baby shower is at 10:30 right? And do we have to bring our own babies or will they be supplied for us? Can I call first dibs on the youngest? -Me asking a pregnant chick what I thought was a legitimate query...

Bonus LotW: If there's no grass on the field, turn her over and play in the mud -Shane on awesome pedophile philosophies.

First of all, the next person to say TGIF deserves to get in a crippling traffic collision. If anything, it should be TTPOTIF!! (Thank the Passage of Time it's Friday!!)

Maybe it's just me, but I find u-turns to be extremely sexy...My guilty pleasure is seeing one of those massive pickups do one, then I feel my hand go lower and I usually say something "oh yeah, baby, you can do it...just take it nice and slow. Don't try to force it..."

Word on the netz is that there's going to be new ketchup packets down the pike pretty soon, and if you're like me, then you probably thought the same thing I did when I saw the following picture: Thank God. No more are the days of not being able to open something half the size of an iPod Nano and being publicly humiliated. God, I can NOT wait until this is shown in commercials and people are shown attempting to frustratingly open the ones we have now in black and white and then people happily opening the new ones in color.

So there's this Facebook trend of posting the picture of a celebrity that looks like you as your profile picture. The only problem is that too many people who do this obviously don't own a full-length mirror. Sure you look like Anne Hathaway...if Anne Hathaway weighed 275lbs, 50 of which come directly from her(your) cankles. All I'm saying is that people should have to put disclaimers on their pictures for this kind of shit. If you can't fit into Gwyneth Paltrow's clothes, SHE IS NOT YOUR CELEBRITY TWIN!...and the clothes from Shallow Hal do NOT count.

I was in class the other day, talking about the effects of drugs/caffeine's effect on a child during pregnancy and every five seconds, low birth weigh would come up and be discussed as the most horrible piece of news since finding out Jessica Alba actually graduated from High School early...although neither her nor her representatives will confirm or deny that she was a virgin at that time. Anyways, why do people complain about low birth weight as being something horrible when childhood obesity is the nation's biggest problem, pun fully intended. If obesity needs to be stopped somehow...maybe we should start at the beginning and let mom enjoy some Cabernet and a joint before going to bed.

If there was ever proof to how stupid Lost is, this is it. When you have nerds agreeing that the nerdiest show on TV is stupid, your show is fucking stupid.

I went to Best Buy to grab a few movies and Halo for PC and despite it never changing, totally forgot that the same month my birthday is in is also Black History month. I knew this because Best Buy felt the need to make an endcap be labeled as "Best Buy Celebrates Black History Month"...which might as well be called "Movies starring Denzel Washington"...

If Hillary and Other Duff ever DJ, they should go as "Duff Punk" or "The PowderDuff Girls"... or maybe "There Will be Duff"

The next day I went to a friend's house for a movie night and after we watched The Brothers Bloom, we sat around and talked for a while, eventually leading to this exchange:
Shane - Do you know what Wonder Woman's weakness or downfall is?
Billy - She can get raped...
Everyone - ......
Me, Shane and Dallas - Hahahahahahahahahaha
Billy - messed up psychologically. She's the only woman, it could happen.

I live in a world of comedy, how the fuck could I NOT start a blog?

So the Saints won the superbowl, which is cool because now we don't have to see people write stupid shit like "Geaux Saints" or other dumb phrases that make probably makes Webster feel like someone punched him in the dick. Since they're from Louisiana, which, if you didn't know, has the dumbest people in America according to their somewhat-education system, then expect the headlines in the papers to read something like this: Saints fans erupt in hometown fans loot local stores.

I don't normally get serious on here but I think I'm allowed to do it every once-in-a-while since it's my blog. When I started this little writing shtick, I did it with the inspiration of a couple other bloggers, the least famous of which is the best. His name is Rain Noe and he's like the Asian Woody Allen. Him and his friends did a short film for a film contest and this is it (He's the guy with the wings):

After you click play, skip to the 30sec mark for the start of the film.

Until next time, keep your dick in your underwear or it'll rub against your jeans and feel really weird and eventually leave a rash...yes, a dick-rash:


William said...

I thought you liked J.J. Abrams stuff?

Homero Arellano said...

I loved Mission Impossible 3 and Star Trek, even really liked Cloverfield despite him only being a producer, but I think Lost is just stupid.