Friday, March 27, 2009

Day 63

You just got BACON'd!!

Line of the week (month?): Girl - She texted me "You really touched my heart"
Me - You should text her back "Would you like me to touch something else?"

First things first: As you can tell, I'm very seriously contemplating making this into a monthly blog, but then I'd be like Maddox and only update once a year. Now, second things second: I've started a Twitter account so I can remember funny thoughts and share them instantly, most of which I'll elaborate on every week on here. It's the best way to keep up with what's happening on my mind-grapes. To check it out, my account name thing is @TheGreaterTruth.

I bought a new book (The Winner by David Baldacci if you must know) and aside from those few nights where I have time to read before I pass out from exhaustion, I tend to read at least one chapter every time I poop...which has been doubling as a very nice way to count hot many times I've pooped in a week. I'm thinking about making a spreadsheet of it and see what foods make me "read" longer.

I went to Monterrey (Mexico) for the first half of my spring break and literally did nothing but eat, drink and read...oh I and I went to a flea market and bought pirated DVDs of movies I liked but didn't feel were worth more than five dollars:
  • The Dark Knight
  • Che: The Argentine (Not on DVD Yet)
  • RockNRolla
  • Flashbacks of a Fool
  • Appaloosa
  • The Foot Fist Way
  • Ping Pong Playa
Each one was about two dollars and all were pristine DVD quality, hell, TDK, PPP and TFFW had special features and shit. Gotta love international travel. Does this qualify me as a smuggler? I hope so.

One my last night I was watching a movie, Efectos Secundarios, with one of the roommates and one of the characters made a comment I had never heard of. Apparently, saying you're "self-employed" in Spanish is the same thing as saying you masturbate...interesting, eh? On a different note, maybe it's the air but ejaculating in a different country always feels kinky and risky...I love it.

I'm currently "following" the ever-so-delicious Fran Drescher on Twitter...jealous? You should be.

Facebook got a new layout and I wouldn't mind it so much if people's status updates didn't solely consist of bible verses, song quotes and weak attempts to be philosophical (Mary Is flying in the dreams of others). If only there was an application to block them...

Last weekend, Knowing came out and killed a bunch of people with awesome long takes, CGI fire and bad music. It was pretty cool until all this aliens bullshit came up and everyone started saying they were angels. Oh, and the kids at the end running towards a CGI tree in a sea of CGI tentacles was also pretty annoying. Any filmmaker, nay, screenwriter, that is working on a script right now and thinks that putting in religious parallels where people walk out saying "Where they aliens or where they angels?" makes the story seem smart, it doesnt. It's not open to interpretation, it's lazy. Write an original ending, instead of copying off a book half the fucking world has read, and stick with it.

Why does a brothel always sound like some sort of Jewish soup? Maybe they're the same thing...

Through a random text message I received on Wednesday, I was asked to prom by my stalker. I said yes to the post-prom sex but no to the dance...I have yet to receive a reply.

I had a dream last night where I was having lunch with Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Brokeback Mountain) and he had some serious OCD problems with the placement of the table and he was teaching me something about video games using holes in the ground and different sized erasers...even Freud would be like "Vat ze fuck?"

While eating at Chic-Fil-A, I saw three cars with handicapped stickers/people on them and noticed that all three were fat. Then I realized that almost every single crippled person I've ever seen (Not "met", I don't associate myself with those kinds of people) is fat. This sickens me. Not being able to walk isn't an open invitation to rape every McDonalds and Jack-In-The-Box in town.

I'll leave you with the three best trailers of 2009 so far, in order from "OMG OMG OMG" to "Looks pretty good".
Where The Wild Things Are

Give 'em Hell, Malone

Taking Woodstock

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