Thursday, November 11, 2010

Day 86

Grass often feels like pants when you're see-through.

Line of the Week: A lot of people like to blame Method Acting or drugs for Heath Ledger's death. Personally, I blame Christopher Nolan.

Here's a quote from a Google News article that was posted on that infamous social-vomit page known only as the facebook "news" feed. Here's the pitch:
A planned website, Harrasmap, will allow women to quickly report instances of harassment via text message or Twitter, to be loaded onto a digital map of Cairo to show hotspots and areas that might be dangerous for women to walk alone. The data will be shared with activists, media, and police.
So women are going to be raped and/or harassed and the first thing they're expected to do is pull out their phones and tweet their live-raping? Now, I don't know who's getting raped but not harassed, but this all seems pretty stupid. Will rapists have access to this information? Yes. Will they start hanging out near areas that are marked as "safe zones?" No doubt. Telling people where you've been raped is just as useful as telling people where you tripped in public, it's interesting information with little, if any, practical use.

For Halloween next year, I'm going to go as Marty McFly and have my girlfriend go as Lorraine McFly, because you simply can't beat a good incest gag.

I was babysitting my aunt's kids and when I took them for a walk (White parents in my subdivision do it, so it can't be bad), they started whining, as kids often do. Now, I'm no stranger to complaining, but kids complain about the most ridiculous things sometimes. It began with asking if they could go back to grab a PSP or something, then if I could drive them to a convenience store after to get candy and eventually led to saying that their feet hurt. At this very moment, my mouth made a decision without consulting my brain because I intensely explained that "There are kids in Africa who can't even afford feet!" Wisdom, consider yourself cream cheese because you've just been spread.

Things that bother me to the point of mentioning:
  • Mobile version of web sites
  • Straight ticket voting
  • Milk that's not whole...that is to say, incomplete milk.(Looking at you, 1%)
  • The colors red and green. Likely due to my colorblindness.
I went to a Hong Kong Food Market with my friend Marc for his Asian Literature class, which goes to show that they'll teach anything if you know enough about it, regardless of its practicality, or lack thereof. As we near the store, I start making a joke that the parking lot is going to be full of white Hondas and Toyotas, along with a bunch of old cars that just blend in. Cars so boring, your eyes don't even register them as a viable transportation option. Pulling in, what do I see but five white vehicles parked within thirty feet of eachother, proving that sometimes, racism is worth it.

Once inside, we head to what we assumed would be the most Chinese part of the Chinese SUPA-MARKET; the fish aisle. On our way, we passed a lunch table in front of what was the Chinese butcher's shop, where you could buy a duck for less than $15. We were starving and seriously considering buying a duck to eat while we walked around. Marc said that would never work, while I was convinced it would if we were to buy some plates in the plates aisle, some chopsticks in the woodware aisle and some napkins in the American products aisle. While he was looking around, I snapped pictures of interesting products.

The Chinese make Basil Seed Drink, Grass Jelly Drink, and Sierra Mist, which I assume is Chinese for Coke Suck. This is a big reason why I hate the Chinese...who drink Pepsi. Untrustworthy.

In America, everything says Made in China. In China, food says Made in USA.

Even the Chinese have their own version of a tortilla. How progressive of them!

When you use two sticks to eat your food, you realize the plate Americans give to their kids is going be your best option.

I don't get this picture. Who is ordering Banana Sauce and why is it not yellow and/or white? Also, who is disgusting enough to eat something called Banana Sauce made by UFC? I don't like where that's leading, those guys excrete worse shit than just insecurity and illiteracy.

This is a normal sized stick for a Chinese person, but a midget-beating stick for a regular sized person...or an African dildo...or what a chopstick looks like in my abnormally-skinny hands. I think they lent these out to the Japs for dolphin killing.

"Eyeround" Steak? Really? You guys aren't fooling anyone. There's no way to fix your eyes or gain peripheral vision; that's what you get for being born a Chinese. It's just science from god and that Zedong fellow.

Sweet Pineapple Gel? Is this what UFC makes guys rub on each other before a fight? Why is UFC making so many fruity products? I feel like there's something there...UFC...fruits...hmmm. I guess it's just one of those things we'll never understand.

A friend was watching Back to the Future because of its recent anniversary, and I have to ask: What the fuck is up with Marty's mom: Lorraine? I'm referring to that woman's deep psychological issues. When Marty beats Biff by eluding him into a truck full of poop (A common profession in the 1950s), she gets so wet she FOLLOWS HIM HOME. Do you know how fucking insane that is? To see someone beat another person up, follow them home without their knowledge and then knock on the door with obvious sexual intentions. Then, when George punches Biff before his rape scene, but after the cleavage/incest scene (My favorite), she completely forgets about Marty and whether he's alive or not. Then, following the white guy calling the black guys/reefer-addicts/musicians spooks, there's another scene where George is pushed by some douche and drags Lorraine off, presumably to rape her. If there's any piece of information you should leave this film with, rape was quite rampant in the white, suburbia, high school dances of the 1950s. Also, blacks were the only good musicians, reefer addicts and stole music from young, white students.

Similarly,there's been people who think it's weird that Marty McFly hangs out with a scientist who is clearly significantly older than him, but the reasons are obvious. George McFly, in the initial timeline, is bullied by Biff and his gang of minions (Plus the guy with the 3D glasses) and in turn, becomes a push over. This leads to him having even lower confidence than before, causing him to be a mentally and socially absent father and husband, creating a weak family scared of failure and excitement. Enter Doc Brown, Marty's father figure. He's more energetic, intelligent and engaging than his own father, the one person he doesn't want to be. After going back in time and putting his father in a situation that allows his life to changed in a way that improves his self worth, he gives himself the father he's always wanted. It's not about fixing the timeline, but about feeling fulfilled as a son.

That's all for now, tune in next time for another psychological cinematic analysis...or don't! Please do? Ok, we'll see. I'll leave you with one of my favorite animated gifs I came across years ago:

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