Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Day 22...Stand Up Virginity

In case you're wondering, yes, the mic smells really weird...


Like the title says, I lost it last night at the Laff Stop Open Mic. It didn't go as well as I planned, but I've been thinking it over a lot, taking into consideration what Rob said, and scrutinizing over everything I did and didn't do.

I'll try and make this as funny as possible, because I hate reading long paragraphs that don't make me laugh almost as much as I hate writing them.

Obviously, before my name was called I was surprisingly nervous, which led to a dry mouth, causing me to drink more water, filling up my bladder, making me want to pee, which in turn increased my nervousness...it's a vicious circle I tell ya'.

When I got on stage, I felt many things simultaneously (<--Least favorite word to write). At first I was a bit anxious, but that quickly went away when I noticed that I couldn't see the audience. Aside from the fact that there was no one in the front row, all I could see were a few eye balls, the timer, and a bit of horizontal light emitted from the bathroom hall. I hated this immediately, the only time I should be performing into darkness is if I'm performing for an bunch of naked black people...then again, I don't really want that either.

I had the weirdest feeling come over me while on stage..it was somewhere between boredom and apathy, and frankly, I hated it. I think a big problem is that I didn't have enough of my set completely memorized passionately, if I had had it completely ready I'd have much more confidence and keep the audience interested. I pathetically plow through my set completely ignoring all the things I promised I would do like take the mic off the stand, not pick up my notebook, captivate the audience oh yeah, and be funny.

The material was good, I just didn't sell it how I had practiced in my room or in my car on the way to the club. I got the audience with my first couple jokes, but after that I lost them and never got them back or even tried to. Afterwards, I felt mildly angry at the crowd, then doubtful at my skills, or lack thereof, considered berating the audience and then finally ended on being only angry at my self and being determined to get up on that stage next week and do everything completely different.

As for everything else, I've literally done nothing but eat, write and play Super Smash Bros. Brawl in hopes of killing as many brain cells as possible before I start really doing homework tomorrow.

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